Do you know what is the most effective way to get something by asking from someone? Just think about the people of our previous generation. How they used to get something from someone? I am not a person from a very old generation, but I clearly remember that during my childhood I used to think that my possibility of getting something increase based on WHAT I am asking. I can share one example from my life. When I was a class nine student, I was crazy to have a personal cell phone. But my father was very strict on that part. He didn’t allow me using a personal cell phone. And I didn’t get it. But when I asked for a personal PC (which was more productive in my father’s eye), he managed to buy one for me though the cost was significantly higher than a cell phone! So, for sure WHAT was important that time.
When I grew up, I understood and learned “The art of getting something from someone”. This time I realized, this is not about WHAT I am asking. Rather this is about HOW I am asking. Nowadays most of us think what I am asking doesn’t matter. How I am asking, matters the most. It simply shows us that process is more important than the product. And for sure there is no disagreement that How is more important than What in case of getting something from someone.
But in my observation, I see something which is even more powerful than How. That something is WHEN. In my practical life I have found this quite factful. As a person you must know first When to ask then How to ask. Assume that you are asking something to your boss when he is already irritated on you because of any missing deadline. Even if you ask something to him very cordially, logically and smartly – do you think you will get it from him? Even whatever small your demand is, the possibility is very less to get it. Because it’s a wrong time to ask something. On the other hand, if he is happy for something on you or relaxed for any other reason (maybe the reason is something or someone else) and you ask something – the possibility is for sure higher to get it (even maybe a week of personal leave 😉 )
The same happens in every stage with everyone including your friends and family members. So, in case of getting something from someone, HOW is important but not more than WHEN. The relation is very simple, WHEN > HOW > WHAT. Possibility of getting something increases WHEN you are asking it than HOW you are asking or WHAT you are asking. And for sure if you can identify a perfect WHEN with a right HOW and WHAT, possibility of getting that WHAT will be the highest!